Road Power Rating

* = Sup sup soy
** = Grin and bear
*** = Don’t blink, just overtake
**** = Alert and avoid
***** = Don’t blink, just pray
Unrated = Unbeatable

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Horn hitters, are drivers that as soon as the light turns green they beep at you. These people are also horn bastards who don’t miss a beep at every possible chance - they hit the beep as soon as you begin to park, they hit the beep when they want to go straight on a left turn lane, they hit the beep for no reason at the red light and they also hit the beep for sound tests when everyone is stationary in a traffic jam.

Road Power: **

Brake bangers, are drivers that for no reason, enjoy banging their brake pedals every 3-seconds on the road. These idiots have too much brake liquid to spare and are usually drivers with poor judgment of speed; they over accelerate and slow down twenty times in a minute on any lane in any situation.

Road Power: ***

Slow pokers, are not only drivers that hog the road. They also apply to law abiding idiots who follow the speed limit at first lane. These idiots are either too scared to go fast or too scared of hitting others. May apply to intellectual wannabes who are slow not because they are scared, but because they actually read all the signboards (including the Speeding Kills ones). These drivers have the power to single handedly, stall any traffic on whichever lane they choose to travel in.

Road Power: ***

Road reporters are self-declared journalists cum drivers who complain, swear and comment about every other driver on the road. Prone to graphic violence with the flash of a finger, they are vulgar but harmless and don’t usually create problems for other drivers. Road reporters always think they are right, always talk a lot and the only people they annoy are themselves and unfortunately, their own passengers.

Road Power: *

Rick Revvers, are children in need of attention. Often drivers in modified cars with bad color and design combos, these children are attention whores looking to compensate. They rev their car engines even when no one else on the road is looking at them, even when no one gives a damn about who they are or what they drive. They are always the first to move off and usually the last to enter the first lane on an expressway because they are too busy checking out people checking them out.

Road Power: *

No Signal drivers have broken middle fingers. They are also misers who will stoop to every method imaginable just to prolong shelf life of the car battery. They have no belief in giving signals. They do not give a signal when changing lanes and making a right or a left turn. Driving accumulates bad experiences for these misunderstood morons and they are hot favorites with horn hitters and road reporters.

Road Power: ***

Squeeze Suckers, are drivers with fetish for everything tight. These suckers want to squeeze themselves into anything. As long as there is the chance of a perfect fit, any space at exactly their car length will do. They squeeze into space between two traveling cars and cause a road accident and they typically evolve into the kiasu driver in twitching cars that suffer from spasm.

They will squeeze into a space smaller than their own cars no matter what happens because they think other drivers beside them will eventually be sacred enough to back off and give way.

Road Power: **

Fast Freddies are role models for children in modified cars. These drivers will come up behind your buttocks looking for a kiss, use their bright lights on purpose and signal you to move off because they think they can run you over. When you give way, they move in front of you and turn into slow pokers. These people are involved in a lot of accidents so they always remove themselves from the roads eventually.

Road Power: ****

Lane Loiters are drivers with their own idea of drifting. These drivers travel only on two lanes and only between markers. They don’t have a clue about where they want to go because they never have to decide.

Descendants down the bloodline of taxi drivers, lane loiters are natural born king of roads because everything belongs to their grandfather. Lethal when combined with slow pokers.

Road Power: ***
Combined Road Power: Unbeatable