Wednesday, May 24, 2006
blog
Today was gp common test. Not much to add except it was okay lar. Can pass.
I like taking transport at night. In the day, you can see the scenery clearly. At night, the reflection of the windows seem to separate you from the outside, creating this small enclave of people whom may just meet each other just once in their lives. Your common time was just the trip from this stop to next. It may be the first one and may be the last one. Feel sad and also feel happy about this.
Also, in the auto--driven LRTs i take, when it is fully-filled, my subconscious do not fully register that no-one is driving the train. Only when it is empty and I am the only one in it do I fully register and accept that the train is after all auto-driven.
rj is having its ccal camp soon. do i suddenly feel sad that i m not part of it? after all the one at ri was filled with good memories. i still rmbr most in my grp. pason, wang ting, shawn chua, wei bong, timo, jin han. how many are still going for this camp? how many will be left behind like me? perhaps i m the only one, but i will not forget the hike which we made as a group. good luck to those going for the rj ccal camp =)
today walked to j8 with kin kit, chun, max, sarge, taru and cq. was talking abt all kind of random stuffs. then kinkit asked me whether i got gf, which i promptly replied 'no. of cos not. do i look as if i will get one anyway?' then kin kit, who has the uncanny ability to point out unseen points, said, 'you don't sound fully convinced that you will not get one.' that really set me into deep thought. am i really fully resigned to this fact or was there still a small part of me who is still struggling to deny this fact? is there still a part of me that still hopes for the opposite?
2 problems i found with myself recently. first is lack of self-confidence. i do not know why. perhaps to me i take my lack of height far too seriously. second is that i find myself having dilemmas too easily as i tend to take stands on both sides too easily. i find myself often having to contend with another self inside me that seems hell-bent on going against my conscious self. do i suppress this alter-self or should i seek to understand this alter-self and eliminate it step-by-step?
lack of self-confidence is negative, but having an alter-self inside me is even worse. looks like i got something to tackle for the upcoming holidays.
just some random thoughts...
shermon blogged @ 11:15 pm
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